How To Establish Boundaries At Work
Setting boundaries is hard. Regardless if it is with your spouse, family, or children, it can be a real challenge. This is no different for our careers. You’re swamped with projects. You have 30 unread emails you have to sort through and respond to. Your boss has a new idea they want your help with. A co-worker needs some help with a few of their projects.
And you are so overwhelmed. Yet, you don’t say no. You’ll take on more and more, despite your mind screaming at you to just stop. You have enough to do. But you don’t create this boundary. And so, you stay in this cycle of complete overwhelm.
But why do we do this?
It’s A Learned Behavior
Our ancestors taught behaviors that were agreeable to the social dynamic. You can think of it as a mannerism if you want. But what learned mannerism makes us never want to say no? The need of approval or acceptance by others.
You are programmed not to be able to say no, for fear of rejection from other people. Despite this being a behavior that is programmed in us all, we don’t have to let the need for approval dictate us.
How To Set Boundaries At Work
Know Your Workload
You don’t have to say yes to everything. Why? Because, as humans, we tend to underestimate the number of tasks we can realistically handle at one time. It’s common for people to want to take on as much as possible. Unfortunately, this can ultimately lead to severe burnout or a lack of quality in your work itself.
So to begin setting boundaries at work, understand that you can only put so much on your plate at one time. And unless you are slacking off, no one will judge you or look at you any differently for not being able to take something else on.
Think About How New Projects Will Affect Your Current Ones
We want to do everything to help our team or boss out, so we take on a lot. But, do we ever stop to think about how this affects the quality of our other work still needing to be done? Usually not.
Complete every project with the best possible care. However, if you are devoting yourself too much, are you realistically giving your best to everything? The key is to focus on what matters and delineate which projects can be postponed or handed off to another.
Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Up When You Are Overwhelmed
It isn’t easy for any of us to vocalize our needs. It’s hard to say no, especially since worth feels so entwined with the ability to perform. However, a higher workload does not equate to worthiness. It’s challenging, especially with management, to say no to something new. But if you are stressed and overwhelmed and don’t feel like you have it in you – speak up.
If a co-worker needs you to help them with something, don’t say yes to it because you feel like they’ll get mad. Chances are, they have been in the same position. Again, be honest. Tell them that you appreciate them coming to you for help, but you are swamped right now.
It’s ok to say no.
When you are first learning to set boundaries at work, it can feel just as overwhelming as the projects themselves. However, your anxieties are important to try and manage and won’t get better if you are overloading and burning yourself out. If you are having trouble setting boundaries for yourself at work or elsewhere, feel free to connect with me so I can help you learn to put yourself first.
