How to Manage the Ups & Downs of Dating

Dating is not the easiest thing to do. The ideas of romance and love surround us everywhere. It’s in our music. And in the movies and television shows we watch. It’s present in the lives of our friends and family. At the end of the day, after all, most of us crave that connection with another person.

But the truth is, love and finding it is very rarely easy. So when you are in the dating phase of your life, it can be a very frustrating experience. There are moments of excitement and butterflies when you first meet someone new. And when the moments of disappointment come when this person isn’t what they seemed, or it doesn’t work out, it’s really disheartening…

Yes, dating really is an emotional rollercoaster. The good news is that there are many ways that you can manage these ups and downs when you are in this phase of life.

Remember, There Will Always Be Transition Periods

At every point in dating and relationships, there will be a transitionary period. It doesn’t really matter how you met the person you are dating. You likely started off friends, then it became something more, and you began seeing each other regularly.

There’s the transition from friends to dating and from dating to relationship. But the important thing to remember is that these transition periods will test the friendship and foundation. Life would be great if everything transitioned smoothly. But it rarely does. Instead of letting these transition periods get to you, just remember to go with the flow of it. Resisting the changes may cause you to feel even more anxious.

Shift Your Expectations

Through no fault of our own, we have a picture in our heads of how dating is supposed to go. This picture is often influenced by popular media or relationships that we witness personally or the lives of celebrities.

Instead of looking at relationships and dating with expectations, look at them as possibilities. It’s okay to want something out of a relationship, but you shouldn’t expect it to happen. We can’t always control the outcome of dating, but we can control what we believe could happen. Be patient with yourself and the situation when it doesn’t happen.

Don’t Let The Past Affect The Present

We all have had situations that cause us to feel cynical about dating, whether it was a bad past break-up or a relationship that just didn’t work out. Whatever the reasons may be, we all let the past end up affecting the present.

To help manage the emotional rollercoaster, try to remember this: the present is not the past situation. It’s common to feel guarded and hesitant. That’s natural. But it’s also ok to look at this new dating relationship as exactly that—new. The past doesn’t always repeat itself.

Don’t Lose Sight Of Who You Are

This is great advice, not only for dating but for relationships and marriage in general. Never lose sight of who you are as an individual. It’s common to become so wrapped up in the “us” of a relationship. But sometimes, that makes us forget who we are as an individual. One way to ease the ups and downs is to remember who you are. What your interests are—your beliefs and opinions. By never letting go of who you are, you’ll always remember what you want out of a relationship.

Dating can be hard work and cause a lot of anxiety. There is so much pressure in today’s society to date or meet certain expectations. Most of all, remember that you are only on your own timeline, not anyone else’s.

If you are dealing with dating anxiety or other relationship problems, reach out to me to begin learning how to deal with this.