Is Perfectionism a Symptom of Depression?

It seems as if the idea of perfectionism is on the rise. Everything must be just right, properly placed, with no flaws. In addition to that, we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect.

The psychological definition of perfectionism is “the need to be or appear perfect or the belief that perfectionism is achievable”.

Most people will associate perfectionism at the very least with anxiety disorders. In addition to anxiety, could perfectionism be a symptom of depression? We don’t believe that perfectionism is a symptom of depression. However, we strongly believe that it is a personality trait that can lead to depression. We do believe that depression and perfectionism are an endless loop that feed into each other. Here are a few of the reasons why perfectionism can contribute to depression.

Negative Thought Patterns

When you want everything to be perfect, it can be considered a good thing. After all, why wouldn’t striving for the absolute best not be a great?

Known as healthy perfectionism, this is the type that is actually good for you. It allows you to always strive to do and be your absolute best. It keeps pushing you forward, allowing you to grow.

However, there comes a point when too much of a good thing can have negative consequences. This is especially true for those who could be considered a “Type A.” While it can be good in healthy doses, trying to strive for perfection too much can have very negative impacts on your mental health.

Unfortunately, always expecting the absolute best in yourself and others can lead to a negative view of one’s self. When, for example, you don’t completely succeed in the way you want to, you could think that you are not worthy. You may think “I am not good enough,” or “I have let everyone down.”

These types of thought, when occurring regularly, can contribute to a lower self-esteem and sense of worth. When both of those happen, you are more likely to feel depressed or down.

Setting Unrealistic Expectations

They say that the things that mess up the most is the picture of how it is supposed to be. Let’s flip that and apply that to depression and perfectionism.

If you are always expecting everything to be perfect or to be just right, you are potentially and more likely to set yourself up for disappointment. The truth is, nothing in life is ever rarely perfect. In fact, many experts say that it’s not the outside world we are trying to perfect, but ourselves instead. Medium.com says that, “Perfectionism isn’t about perfecting things: your job, a specific project, the way you look, or a relationship. At a fundamental level, it’s about perfecting the self, and this urge doesn’t come from a healthy place.”

There is a strong connection between perfectionism and depression because of these unrealistic expectations. When you feel as if you are continually letting yourself, or, others, down, you are not meeting the expectations you had set. And when these expectations aren’t being met, you are more likely to get upset with yourself. The inner critic in your head that says you aren’t worthy and that you are not enough can sound like a blaring horn in your head. Deafening all other thoughts or emotions, all you can then focus on is the negative aspects you do not care for in yourself.

Perfectionism Leads to Depression Which Leads To More Perfectionism Which Leads To…Well, You See The Pattern

While perfectionism may not be a symptom of depression, it can contribute to it. We think of the relationship between the two as a cycle, interconnected and feeding off one another.

When someone is a perfectionist and becoming hard on themselves, it creates a perfect feeding ground for depression. Depression is the voice in our head saying we are not enough. And hearing that voice often just leads to someone trying to quiet that voice by proving that they can be perfect. And when that doesn’t happen, depression’s voice inside your head sounds off even louder.

It is hard to live with a Type A personality that strives for perfectionism. While it is always fine to want to be your best, there comes a point where you have to know that, “I am enough,” “I did my best, even if the results weren’t what I wanted.”

If you are struggling to cope with depression or need help with your perfectionist tendencies, please reach out to me to schedule a consultation.