4 Things To Do When Perfectionism Harms You or Your Relationships
For most people, perfectionism is seen as a strength. In a lot of ways, it can be. After all, how can always striving to be the absolute best be bad? However, not everything about perfectionism can be seen as positive. In fact, it can be a very damaging aspect in a person’s life. Additionally, relationships and friendships can be detrimentally affected by it as well.
Many experts say that perfectionism is another indication of anxiety in a person. Learning to control these tendencies or overcome them can sometimes feel impossible. If you are unsure of how you can prevent perfectionism from ruining too much in your own life or relationships, keep reading for four helpful tips to prevent this.
Recognize The Role of Perfectionism In Your Life
The first step to stopping the negative cycle of perfectionism from harming you or your relationships is to recognize it. It is harder to change when you don’t know that perfectionism is part of your life...
Think of all the ways that perfectionism presents itself in your life.
Is it maintaining a flawless image?
Always being the absolute best you can at work or school?
Having a spotless house?
However it shows up in your life, acknowledge it by accepting that it happens. Now, here are four things you can do:
1. Know The Fears That Contribute To It
Behind every perfectionist tendency is an underlying fear. For instance, you may fear that you and your partner’s sex life is not as good as others couples. You may blame your body image, or stamina, or any number of things. As a result, the disappointment you feel about your love life not being perfect may cause other issues in the relationship.
To prevent this from happening, you should acknowledge your fears and what is causing them. Despite what many believe, there really is no such thing as a perfect love life. By stopping yourself from comparing your life to others, it can actually improve things in bed for you by letting go of the idea that it needs to be perfect.
2. Accept That Not Everything Will Go As Planned
Most perfectionists are Type A’s. Very detail oriented, into planning, and being 100% on time. If there is an event that starts at 4pm, a perfectionist will want to be there right on the dot, if not a few minutes early.
But what can be done when your partner is more lax? When they are ok with showing up a little later? And it absolutely drives you two out of your minds, causing arguments over something that doesn’t really matter?
You can ask yourself, “Realistically, if we show up late to this event, does it really matter? Is it even worth the argument with my partner?”
3. Don’t Take Everything Literally
Perfectionists tend to analyze every word that is said or heard, and take it literally. What this boils down to is communication styles. While a perfectionist has that tendency, other people may not realize or even think about exactly what they are saying. This misunderstanding can cause major issues in relationships, friendships, or even at work.
To prevent yourself, a relationship, or even your work from being harmed, it’s necessary to understand that not every person will communicate in the same ways you do. You can avoid a lot of miscommunication or misunderstandings in your life by accepting that.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Too often, those who deal with perfectionism are very hard on themselves. When a mistake is made or something doesn’t go according to plan, it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety.
You can stop your perfectionism from controlling too much of your life by accepting that you’re human. Not everything in life will go exactly as you want it to. And you know what? That’s okay. Give yourself the grace and acceptance that mistakes can happen and there’s nothing wrong with that.
If your perfectionism is causing you added anxiety and stress to your life and your relationships, please reach out so that I can help you learn to overcome the negative cycle of a perfectionist lifestyle.
